TL;DR: I have a chronic illness and have to be more flexible with future release dates so deal with it omg yayyyy
WOW it has been a minute since I posted a project update. I’ve been thinking quite a bit lately. You know, I’m not a huge fan of oversharing online and try to avoid it at all costs, but I think I would be remiss if I wasn’t a little more transparent about my health. If anything, to provide some context about my spotty online presence and (potentialy) shaky deadlines moving forward.
Last December, I Got a Diagnosis.
After months of having wayyyy more blood drawn than I ever have in my life, among other uncomfortable tests, I was diagnosed with PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). For those of you who don’t know what that is: first of all, it’s not a life-threatening thing like cancer. I am not dying. But, it is kind of hard to explain. Essentially, it’s a metabolic illness, but it really affects your entire body. And it sucks absolute asshole. Not even in a fun, consensual type of way. No, PCOS is a profoundly nonconsensual asshole sucking parade.
I think that’s the most clinically accurate way I can describe it. Even with medication, it sucks. Don’t get me wrong; I am very grateful for my medication; without it I would be violently barreling towards type 2 diabetes like a 20-year-old professional jackass YouTuber joyriding in his McClaren. BUT. That said, there have been speed bumps on my road to healing.
For the first five months on medication, things were more or less fine. Great, even. On a steady upward trajectory. My mental clarity was coming back. Memory recall was improving. Overall energy levels were better than they’d been in years. I was making serious gains in the gym after years of stagnation. See, PCOS has such a broad range of symptoms that vary greatly in severity, that it doesn’t affect every woman the same way. Some just get cystic acne and that’s it. Others struggle with rapid weight gain that refuses to leave, fatigue, and facial hair. Some may even get all of the above, plus hair thinning. The symptoms can range from “mild inconvenience” to “bespoke existential nightmare”. Mine is on the latter end of the spectrum.
Because, after those five stellar months of what seemed like nonstop linear improvement… a train hit me.
For the entire month of June and half of July, I struggled to get out of bed. To remember what the fuck I was doing in the middle of my workday after blinking twice. Every meal I ate sucked the life out of me because my blood sugar was volatile. I would come home, drop face-first into my bed, succumb to a complimentary bout of inflammation that made it torture to move this meat sack called a body, and I’d lay there with all the lights on until I had to officially go to bed. I did that for weeks. I hardly had any energy to even feed myself some nights. I felt like a barely-sentient manifestation of pain and aimlessness. Like a fuckin dust bunny.
So when it came to working on the comic… guess who lost nearly two months of productivity.
Take a wild guess.
I’m not going to apologize for being chronically ill. I think I’ve spent more than enough time convincing myself not to feel ashamed for it. But as I’d mentioned before… it’s context. This was clearly an unforeseen setback, and as I continue to get better I’m almost positive there will be more, for one mysterious reason or another. I know now that I have to factor in the unstable state of my health when setting deadlines for myself with this project. Because if I’m unwell and not taking care of myself, this project doesn’t get done. And I have a horrible tendency to ignore myself in favor of getting lost in my work. I just can’t afford to do that anymore.
What The Fuck Are You Saying, Nellie?
Golly gee I’m so glad you asked. My point is that while I’m still launching Volume 2 in October, I will have to be relaxed with the whole monthly-release thing for Issues 5-8. I have no clue what that looks like yet. But as I continue to finally get my health back to an optimal place, I will have to make some compromises and pivots along the way. At least, until this project becomes my full-time job. Then things will be very different.
So. The Short Stories.
Yeah remember I’d mentioned those somewhere in a previous post or two? I have not forgotten them. I know I said I’d release them like, by the end of last year. And I have four drafts just WAITING to be polished. And I am DYING to share them. I really am. But also, my health. So they will be shelved until further notice.
The “Project Update” Part
Here’s what you can expect in the coming months:
- Volume 2 is still on for October.
- Monthly issue releases may stretch to bi-monthlyish (?).
- Short stories are on hold (but not forgotten).
- I will continue to communicate delays as transparently as I can.
Until then, I’m on the same old grind I have been on since last December. I’m over halfway done with Issue 5 and am taking full advantage of the small rebounds in vitality that I get here and there. These months have been at once painfully long and scarily brief. The one thing that has helped them fly by is my excitement to share Volume 2 with you. Along with a few other surprises…
On that note, I’m off to terrorize the townsfolk.